real talk//real life

lets talk about the real stuff.

lets talk about love

the way that people fall in and out of love carelessly and the fact that people say it without passion in their eyes and with holes in their hearts, and that people hurt the ones they say they love. and how about the fact that im afraid to fall in love, because i think i already let myself do that once and my heart broke and is still held together with glitter glue of those who really love me. because love is real, if taken seriously love is very real.

lets talk about death,

it causes tears to appear in eyes that hold the smallest things close to their hearts and provides a silence that cannot ever be filled because someone will always be missing from the conversation. and it hurts when you want to talk to someone and they are six feet below you and your legs give out and soon you are crying next them as close as you can get.

lets talk about life,

its always changing and never has repeats. not one day the exact same. it can end at any moment so take advantage of every second you are given. be happy and positive and tell your mom sorry when you get in a fight with her, tell your dad you love him more often, and let your little sister sleep in your bed with you, because you don't know what could happen. live it to the fullest and stop rewatching the same t.v. show and go try something new.

lets talk about school,

who cares what everyone else thinks. be yourself and throw all of those bad thoughts and negative vibes from that one girl in your english class out. smile and dress the way you want. be smart and do your homework and pay attention in class because its going to eventually pay off. if your not feeling it  one day, go home. dont waste your time sitting in class not even paying attention when you would rather be hiking or sleeping. do stuff for yourself because you are worth it. 

and lets talk about how i see real talk as real life.

moving out and buying your own groceries.

car payments and cleaning checks.

roommates and real jobs.

pop tarts for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and not having a curfew.

paying for a bunch of stuff you didnt even know cost money, and leaving high school.

moving on from the little bubble protector of Lone Peak.

let your life take off and do stuff your mom would hate if she found out about it and make your dad proud by passing your math class in the top twenty.

because eventually we all have to accept all this real talk. 

long walks and junnie b jones.

I remember the long walk that we took that didn't come with the packaged long talk.
I remember every Halloween with the black tube slide and the alarm at the back door.
I remember the day my first dog died, I didn't fill in a single bubble on the sheet of my second grade end of the year test i was so distraught. 
and i still remember the first time i lied to my parents.
I remember the first concert i went to. My sister brought her boyfriend, and there was smoke in the air. That boy is now her husband.
I remember my first trip to Oregon.
I remember meeting my best friend. We have been friends for 10 years.
I remember the first time i swore at my mom.
I remember the day i became an aunt. 
I remember walking home from school because my mom forgot to pick me up.
and i still remember how scared i was of tornadoes and being kidnapped.
I remember November 2nd at 12:57 and leaving Sunday school in the middle of the prayer to find my mom through blurred eyes. And 5 days later when i knew that would be the last time i would ever see him, and crying while singing.
I remember when my mom told me i was getting a little brother, turns out i actually got a little sister.
I remember when i was so eager to graduate. im not so sure anymore.
I remember the first time i saw my dad cry, i was sitting on the floor by my fireplace.
I remember having glasses and braces, it made me very insecure.
I remember my 10th birthday.
I remember when my backyard was just dirt.
I remember getting pulled over with my grandma on my 12th birthday.
I remember selling lemonade on my front lawn for a week straight. i made $9.75.
I remember the last time i cried.
and i still remember reading junnie b jones in my carseat in front of the stairs in my family room.
i remember, 
i remember it all, even if i don't always want to.