The Broken Teen

Some words from The Broken Teen along with some of my own.

I have had a crush on you since sophmore year and thats how i became a broken girl. I was once white and full of goodness and innocence, when you came along. We got to know each other and the sound of one anothers car motors and the way the other wrote y=mx+b. You then promised me forever and i thought you and i would end never. It lasted as long as your average froot by the foot and i was ok, because i knew that someday i would become to old for your company. More often than not, i now feel disoriented and uneasy, but that wont hold me back because i will be different now.

Now socializing gives me anxiety & my dad asks me if i own any cloths in color. But i still love the sound of my mothers laugh and the conversations we had without words. And i could still recognize your car motor in seconds and your beautiful brown eyes still on occasion make me cry. But thank you for being you because it has helped me become me.

I hope you enjoy this Kellie, and enjoy the way i used your words. Keep writing because it is
truly amazing and very heart felt.

Book of Love.

Fear of falling.

falling in love,

and out of love. 

its a terrible thing, love.

but it can't be changed.

and its all written together.

love is like a book,

and everyone will read it,

eventually.

and its great, 

if you are falling in love.

but its horrible,

if you are falling out of love.

Not really Jane Ray.

The songs i don't tell anyone else about.

Kids in Love//Mayday Parade
From the Bottom of my Heart//Mury
Tell Me I'm A Wreck//Every Avenue
Forever and Always//Parachute
Sleep Sweet//Mury
Goodnight Moon//Go Radio
Skinny Love//Birdy
Dance Floor Anthem//Good Charlotte
You Are Gold//The National Parks
Somebody That I Used to Know//Mayday Parade
Coffins//MisterWives
Stressed Out//Twenty One Pilots
Take You Away//The National Parks
Angel With A Shotgun//The Cab
Go to Hell//Go Radio
Aint No Rest For the Wicked// Cage the Elephant
The Great Escape//Boys Like Girls
Somewhere in Neverland//All Time Low
Mockingbird//Eminem
CheaterCheaterBestFriendEater//Never Shout Never
No Surprise//Daughtry
Only Love Can Hurt Like This//Paloma Faith
The Breakup Song//Runner Runner
Endlessly//The Cab
It's Up To You//Walk the Moon
Toxic Valentine//All Time Low
Terrible Things//Mayday Parade

A love of social frenzy.

Our love changed faster than the leaves in the fall and fell faster than them all. With the black seats of your truck they ripped right through my heart. And we watched fireworks in the summer because I loved them, and saw movies that I didn't really want to see. My love for country fell from my heart because you said that wasn't allowed, and you grew to love the band's that I believed were all mine. I grew to know the stories of your home thanks to your mom, and you never opened up like that. The oxygen that we took in turned from being clear to something that we wished we never would have had to see. That changed to me playing country music  because I knew that you would roll your eyes and say that it gives you the hives, and you stating that you hate fireworks because you wanted to give me water works. 

Then you took my heart.
You said it was shit, and ripped it up and took thousands of hits.
We fell from a tree, that love of you and me, and became worse than a social frenzy.

The word CHILDHOOD on a blue ticket.

The word childhood was on a small blue ticket, write about your childhood it said, I don't even know where to start was my reply.
Do I start from the beginning and the stuff that I am told happened but don't actually really remember, or do I start with the best times that run through my head everyday?                          

There's the time I dropped a weight on my thumb in Walmart and lost my finger nail a week later...
Or the time that my older sister and I got locked in the bathroom at our B&B in Oregon...
Oh yeah and one time my dad surprised us and took us to Disneyland...
But I could also tell you about how I cried when we sold our family car because all my siblings moved out and we didn't need that big of a car anymore...
For now that's all I can really share because while they might just be small bits and pieces of what my childhood was like it's kinda hard to tell you all about it.  it's all mine and I have never had to share it before, and it's kinda hard to have to start now.

the guide to me (if you ever wanted to know)

I dance to music that isn't even playing in front of my calculus teachers house on Halloween night, then turn on music and I don't want to dance anymore.
                      So, I keep the music off. 
I wore my hair in two buns to church like I used to and i am going to try and keep my promise to my mom when i say yes i will wear my hair like this more.
                     I can't break another promise.
I watch Wizards of Waverly Place on Netflix and remember the time i watched the premiere of the show while babysitting and locked the mom of the kids i was babysitting out and feel asleep so she had to climb in a window...
                     That was the last time i babysat for them.
I never have a clean room, ever. Cloths are everywhere and my bed is never made,
                     Sorry mom. 
I listen to Every Avenue and The Cab. I listen to other music too but i don't enjoy that as much because its not the same,
                     I just like the other music better.        
My heart is broken i think.
                I don't really know though.
                                     I wish i did.
I write more words in notebooks about my thoughts and feelings than i do about what i am learning in my English class.
             Turns out i don't actually care. 
This is it,
things i do and other stuff that make me, me.
If you ever wanted to know.